• sparkfireswan

A&A Discuss How To Overcome Fear & Embrace Opportunity

Updated: Jan 13, 2020

End of Week #28

Jamaica Beach RV Resort, Galveston TX

Miles traveled since last week’s post = 0

Total miles traveled to date = 4,884 with trailer

One week has already gone by in Galveston, and it’s been a really nice change of pace on our end! Sunshine & 70’s, palm trees, ocean breeze … yeah, I really can’t complain. #SorryNotSorry. We have even been sleeping with the windows open – WOAH, we haven’t really done that in a few months!

Today it’s been SUPER humid (like we are talking 95%), and I love it. (We are expecting rain tonight and some cooler temps the next few days so I’m really enjoying this humidity now!) I’m so grateful we choose this RV resort to stay at – it’s such a beautiful place and all the people here are so kind! On Friday night we went to our first social mixer at the outdoor pavillion and it was a ton of fun. There were probably 50 people there, a ton of snacks, a huge cooler full of margarita mix, little campfires, and a good time. We got to know a few different groups that night, and everyone seemed to flock to us – probably because of our age. 🙂 By far, 1000%, we are the youngest people here at this resort right now! There are a few other families with kids, but not as many younger people as we had seen last month at Burleson, TX. Everyone wants to know our story and what the heck we are doing, ha!

Let’s get into things today – I’ve been really excited to share this blog post and talk about this topic for this week. It’s time to conquer some fear this Monday!

5 Steps To Conquer Fear

Conquering fear has been really important to me this year, especially the past 6 months and more so over the past 3-5 years of my life. I’ve done a lot of work to step outside of my comfort zone in jobs, in my relationship, in my own self-talk, self-action, and experiences. From giving 30 minute presentations to a room of 30+ people at work, to supporting a team of 20 leaders in a corporate organization, to selling my home and 80% of my belongings – conquering new fears has been my new favorite thing to do!

But it’s not always that easy for people. It’s hard to do something new, to step outside of comfort, or to do something that friends and family might not agree with. It’s hard to quit something familiar to us like a job or a relationship. And it’s even harder sometimes to do something new that we know will benefit us a lot in the long run, but can be really difficult to initiate!

Site #209 at Jamaica Beach RV Resort

So let’s break it down into steps, and into tools we can use to conquer any fear in our lives, & to just DO THE DAMN THING already. 🙂

1. The ‘5 second rule’ by Mel Robbins

The first step is a countdown step – super effective to get you to start doing most anything, (especially getting up when you’re alarm goes off). Mel Robbins is a host, author, and motivational speaker, and used the 5 Second Rule in her own life to get her out of a rough time. I believe this rule could also be utilized anytime you are fearful to do something to trick your brain into just doing it now and not avoiding or procrastinating the idea, or potentially talking yourself out of it.

It’s simple, really! All you have to do is count down from 5, either outloud or in your head, and when you hit 1 you jump into whatever it is you are afraid to do! 5-4-3-2-1-, and you make that post you wanted to make but were worried about what other people would think. 5-4-3-2-1- and you call that special someone, or you end a toxic relationship or end a toxic job. 5-4-3-2-1- and you jump into your public speech or presentation! 5-4-3-2-1- and you do your first go-live on Instagram, like I just did tonight!

If you have an instinct to act on a goal, you must physically move within 5 second or your brain will kill the idea.

5-4-3-2-1- and DO IT!

2. Go inward

Write down why you’re afraid! Write down all the reasons you have for being fearful to do xyz, and recognize that all of the things you wrote down are just excuses. You are letting yourself doubt your own abilities. You are letting fear win, by assuming the worse or by making EXCUSES not to do it in the first place.

We must also realize and understand that fear is just another emotion – it’s ultimately excitement in disguise. We get excited to do something, to achieve a goal, or to make a move, or do something we really want to do – and then we let fear and the darkness take over our light and infiltrate us with excuses and doubt. This isn’t really us, or we wouldn’t have been excited by the idea in the first place. We must understand that fear is just an illusion, its TEMPORARY.

It will come and it will GO!

3. Practice OR do your research

This one was huge for us in preparing for our nomadic lifestyle change and preparing for our journey. We spent about 7-8 months doing our hardcore research before we spent a few months this summer practicing. All of this leading up to the final moment when we actually took off on the road away from friends and family. Of course all of those milestone moments were still scary for us, but by practising and doing SO MUCH research for many months leading up to it – we were able to take away from a lot of the fear we had around doing it.

The more you know about something and can understand it, the less fearful of it you will be! We need to get to the point of understanding something so well that we don’t get anxious about it anymore when we think about doing it.

The beach was super moody this afternoon!

If you are able to practice doing what it is you’re having fear around, it will help you gain a sense of confidence in your ability to tackle it! If it’s a speech – stand in front of a mirror or gather a group of people to listen. You could even write it down too!

4. Just breathe

Take a deep breath – in and out. Relax. Pause. Release your jaw, and your shoulders too. Take a moment to shake off your tension, your anxiety, and rest your wandering mind. Just breathe for once!

This is a great technique to calm yourself before giving a speech or presentation or before doing something extreme like quitting a job or having a tough conversation with someone. Center your body and your nerves so that you can FOCUS on the task at hand and at what you are trying to achieve.

We are always on the go-go-GO and overstimulating our nervous system – which doesn’t help our bodies understand how to handle the fight or flight responses that fear brings up. It’s important to spend more time grounding yourself or pausing to take a nice big deep breathe during moments of stress and anxiety and FEAR.